Learning to Forget Your High School Friends

8:18 PM

Writing this is hard, but the truth is harder. What sparked this was seeing one of my best friends from high school’s new profile picture, in which another old best friend commented on it. It stung, to see how I’m no longer part of their lives. I haven’t seen them in five months, and now there’s a whole part of my life they’ll never understand. We moved on from high school. We graduated from the ‘jail and went our separate ways without a pair of jeans to magically hold us together (that probably didn’t make sense unless you’ve see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants).

 I don’t want this to be true, but due to the fact that I’ve only kept in touch with only one of my friends from high school, it seems too real. It’s not that I didn’t try. I wrote letters, sent birthday cards, and sent texts, but got no reply. Even on Christmas no one bothered to reply “Merry Christmas!” back. The post I keep in touch is Snapchat, but mostly they just open up my snaps and don’t reply. I wish that we were still close and were having tea parties. I wish that I could text them about my boy troubles and juicy gossip. But I can’t, and I need to learn to move on.

I’m not a new person in college, but I have changed. At least I stopped making slurping noises whenever I see a cute boy and don’t do bird calls. Or dance in public. But I miss that part of me, who didn’t care about what others thought of me. Now I’m this girl who everyone thinks is from Los Angeles, drives a Prius, knows the route to Santa Monica like the back of my hand, am now a “sorority girl,” and actually wear jeans. And there’s so much I don’t know about my friends now. I’ll never know the people they hang out with in school, what their dorm rooms look like, who’ve they crushed on, and what professors they’ve hated. Even the idea of visiting seems distant. No one has the money or effort to fly cross-country, even if I promise a view of the ocean from my dorm.

I will always love my high school friends, and I thank them for always being there for me back in the day. For getting my crush to ask me to prom and understanding my Friends references.  For listening to me gush over Jennifer Lawrence on a daily basis. For making me crepes and bringing me food when I was sad, or hanging out with me after I got my wisdom teeth out (and even when I feel asleep). I wish it wasn’t this way, and this feels like a breakup letter to a boyfriend if I ever did write one. You’re always going to be part of my life story, and I hope to see you at a reunion or wedding or for a weekend visit.

College is full of new people and experiences, which your high school friends will never know about. We’re all going to move on, no matter how much we promise to keep in touch. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to keep in touch, just know it’s inevitable unless it’s truly your best friend.

Here’s to new friends and a new chapter,

Caroline  

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